Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk

"This was supposed to be
a writers' retreat, it was
supposed to be safe."

Rated 9/10

Haunted is a novel made up of stories: twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter. 

My Thoughts: Wow! I'm fairly insensitive to any kind of blood, guts and bodily fluids, but I still found myself wanting to read this from between my fingers at times...

I asked my fellow bookseller to recommend me something that would make me think "What kind of sick person could think up something like this!?!" (think Halfhead/Stuart MacBride, Genesis/Karin Slaughter, Perfume/Patrick Suskind) - and she told me that this one fitted my brief exactly. She was spot on.

Some of the stories within the book were fantastic and left me wanting more of it - they're stuck in my head now and I can't get them out - some were so bizarre that I couldn't follow them (hence no 10th star). The characters were a mixed bag, mostly disconnected and unrelateable, but I did find myself rooting for one or two of them, which was a little disturbing in itself. I really did like the penultimate tale 'Obsolete' - it was one of the chapters that is now ingrained into my head.

I already read 'Snuff' by Palahnuik a while back, but now I think Choke and Fight Club are going onto my ever expanding Book(et) list.

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

"Lolita,light of my life,
fire of my loins."

Rated 10/10

The book chronicles the life of its narrator and protagonist, Humbert Humbert, a middle-aged, fastidious college professor, focusing on his disastrous love affair with a young girl (he happens to like little girls), named Lolita, whom he'll do anything to possess. 

My Thoughts: Such a brilliantly written novel about a subject so terrible, and told through the eyes of a manipulative, destructive man. He tries to coerce the reader into sympathising with him, whilst all the time ruining the life of a young girl. He plays games with Lolita as he plays games with the reader. Isolates her, abuses her, blackmails her. Attempts to make us understand him. And it seems that some readers have actually been swayed by his immature obsessive ways.

An absolutely stunning read that I could not put down despite being horrified by it. Very well written, gripping and captivating and I can't help but hope that the writer had no life experience in the matter; he writes with such vivid style. Definitely one to read.

I have no idea why anyone could describe this novel as 'comic'. I don't quite know where the comedy lies. It is NEVER a child's fault, and (dear reader) it should NEVER be interpreted that way. The relationship in this book shouldn't be glamorised or romanticised. Adults hold a responsibility for protecting the health and well being of children, for teaching them morals and values and attempting to lead by example so that children can grow up forming their own happy and healthy relationships. This is one subject matter that I will always get on my soapbox for.

The Rachel Papers - Martin Amis

"My name is Charles
Highway, though you
wouldn't think it to look
at me."

Rated 6/10

Charles Highway, a precociously intelligent and highly sexed teenager, is determined to sleep with an older woman before he turns twenty. Rachel fits the bill perfectly. Charles plans his seduction meticulously, and sets the scene with infinite care - but it doesn't come off quite as he expects...

My Thoughts: All in all this book was pretty good. I enjoyed the language and writing style used, and I was also mesmerised by the way that the relationship the narrator had with Rachel changed from meeting her to the very end page. A coming of age novel that I found brutal and cringeworthy in parts, and quite a bit sexist in others. Amis portrays his character very well and I can't help but believe that this book was written based upon personal experiences (bit worrying). 

Took me a while to plough through and I still can't make up my mind just what I took from it, but I'm glad I stuck with it and now I will never read it again.

Birthmarked - Caragh M. O'Brien

"In the dim hovel, the mother
clenched her body into one final,
straining push, and the baby
slithered out into Gaia's ready hands."

Rated 3/10

After climate change, on the north shore of Unlake Superior, a dystopian world is divided between those who live inside the wall, and those, like sixteen-year-old midwife Gaia Stone, who live outside. It’s Gaia’s job to “advance” a quota of infants from poverty into the walled Enclave, until the night one agonized mother objects, and Gaia’s parents disappear.

My Thoughts: Bear with me, as I'm reviewing this on my phone. Birthmarked is a fairly bland read, with no real direction and characters that I just couldn't find realistic. I didn't get worked up over the problem, if there even was one. I couldn't see what all the fuss was about within the plot at all and didn't care. 

I thought the book was going to be so much more than it turned out to be - quite disappointing.

Halfhead - Stuart B. MacBride

"There's blood everywhere."

Rated 9.2/10 (Awesome!)

There are worse things than the death penalty...

My Thoughts: The first sentence had me hooked and pretty much set the theme up for the whole novel in an instant. A really dark and gritty sci-fi read with plenty of shocking gore and a racing plotline. I couldn't tear my eyes from the pages.

I had the privilege of a quick exchange of Tweets with Mr MacBride as I was reading this on the train to work:



                 Me ‏@Gemininski

Reading Halfhead by @stuartmacbride and wondering why I've never picked this up before. It's ace!

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27 NovStuart MacBride ‏@StuartMacBride

@Gemininski Phew! That was a worry. Some people absolutely loathe it. Glad you're not one of them.

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28 NovMe ‏@Gemininski

@StuartMacBride not at all! Though I do worry in parts that someone is looking over my shoulder at what I'm reading and backing away slowly.

And I did indeed find myself shielding the odd page from commuters who found themselves within reading distance. There are some pretty sickening scenes in there, and one particularly that I had to stop reading for a moment to take a deep breath and continue on. The strong dystopia element satisfied me, and I only wish that the book could have delved a little further into it, and into the whole concept behind the halfhead.

I love to be kept in suspense when reading. I love to be shocked. I love vivid characters that I actually care for and plenty of action... This book covered all bases. I want more!

An epic sci-fi/crime thriller that is something that little bit different. 

Theme: 5/5
Plot: 4/5
Characters: 5/5
Setting: 5/5
Style: 4/5

Overall: 9.2/10

The Birthing House - Christopher Ransom

Conrad Harrison found the last
home he would ever know by
driving the wrong way out of Chicago
with a ghost in his car.

Rated 3.6/10 (readable)

The scariest novel since Stephen King's The Shining, The Birthing House grips from the first line to the terrifying final twist.

My Thoughts: A very strange read, but car crash writing that I could not put down. The characters are typical larger than life beings, not well written at all; and it basically comes down to the usual ghostly tale - man is all on his own in a brand new home - man sees strange goings on - man manages to completely ignore them and get on with life inside the haunted house. It's choc full of cliches -> pretty useless dogs, a young helpless girl and lots of sex for the sake of sex.

The subject matter of the hauntings is highly disturbing and confusing, and the main character also begins to get more and more deranged. You can never quite tell if it's the house that's haunted or his psychological state, but you can tell that he is not normal right from the very beginning, and there are a few passages that have you wondering about his sanity from the word go.

There are also some parts of this book that don't tie up, or seem to be a little pointless. Some of the characters are irrational - particularly the main character's wife Jo, who didn't feel real at all; and quite a few scenes come across as disjointed, unfinished or out of place. I'm still not sure as to what the Birthing House was actually meant to be back in the day, but I'm settling on a cult of some kind. There are so many questions left unanswered, (why didn't the dog get pregnant?!?! being one of them) and when I reflected on the book after finishing, I realised that there were so many loose ends that I couldn't remember them all!

All in all however, this is a very addictive read. A book that you just can't help but plough your way through despite all of the errors and insensitivity. Although the bare bones of the book are nothing out of the ordinary, it's the (patchy) padding round the outside that make it readable. If you're looking for something completely bizarre and you have a very open mind - this one might be for you! 

Those of a nervous disposition, new parents and pregnant ladies - keep your hands off!

Theme: 3/5
Plot: 2/5
Characters: 1/5
Setting: 2/5
Style: 1/5

Overall: 3.6/10

Ready Player One - Ernest Cline

"Everyone my age remembers
where they were and what they
were doing when they first heard
about the contest."

Rated 9.6/10 (amazing!!!)

Imagine the world at stake. An epic struggle between good and evil. The greatest quest in history. The fate of humanity resting in your hands. Are you ready?

My Thoughts: I fell into this book from the first chapter. It satisfied every desire that I have when it comes to reading. It had the fabulous (not so perfect) characters. It had the dystopian world filled with suppression and struggle. And it had geekery - lots and lots of 80s themed, futuristic sci-fi geekery. 

In a declining world of poverty, over-crowding and hunger - people are bound to escape into a virtual world. It is easy enough to see this happening. With technology advancing at the speed that it has, Ready Player One's themes could be relevant to us all. 

It is very clear that this book has been meticulously researched. I think that if I played out every 80s game that appears in the book, every movie that Ernest makes reference to, they would all be exactly as they are described on the pages. 

A very clever read that would suit teenagers, sci-fi fans, self-confessed geeks and children of the 80s.  

Theme: 5/5
An original theme that spans across multiple levels. 

Plot: 5/5
Everything is here - action, drama, romance... There are plenty of twists and turns along the way.

Characters: 5/5
Nobody is perfect. And not everybody is as they seem either...

Setting: 5/5
A virtual universe filled with countless numbers of custom made zones, sectors, planets and worlds.

Style: 4/5
Ernest has written in a style that is accessible to a lot of people - but I think that the style would most suit teenagers and young adults as it seems a little young at times.

 Overall: 9.6/10